Mar 14 2009
I am an Angry Mom
I had on my angry face for a lot of yesterday. It was an early release day so normally it would have been a great day. I was actually really enjoying it until the principal from Noelle’s school called. She is my 13 year old.
He is known for punishing people over stupid things and punishments that are overboard. He started as principal two years ago and the newest rumor is that for some reason or another he will not be returning next year. Everyone is very happy about it.
It all started back on Tuesday. Noelle’s friends have not been getting along all the time lately. As school let out “S” grabbed “A” and slammed her into a locker. When “S” raised her fist to punch “A” in the face Noelle grabbed her arm and stopped her. Then “S” grabbed a handful of “A” and Noelle’s hair. She ripped out their hair, threw it back at them and yelled that she was going to kill them.
The next morning the girls went to a teacher to report the incident since (like always) no school employees saw it. I wanted to go to the school but Noelle asked that I let her handle it. I have for years taught my girls to try to handle things without mommy stepping in and now when I want to help she did not want it. (They grow up too fast)
Well, Friday the principal finally talked to the girls and called me. He called me to tell me that my daughter was getting detention for the incident. We have since found out that it is the same amount of detention as the girl who was actually trying to attack “A”.
Since he started at the school he made a rule that in the case of a fight you are not allowed to defend yourself or try to break up a fight. He tells the students that the only acceptable response is to let the yourself or the victim get attacked and then tell an adult as soon as possible. This sounds insane to me.
He actually got rude with my daughter and said, “You just have to try to be a hero don’t you”. After he talked to me (actually he got yelled at by me)… he then acted as if my daughter made it sound worse than it was. He asked her if she just made stuff up when talking to her parents to make her school life seem more interesting.
I am so furious with him. I got even more mad when I found out that he gave the girl that was attacked twice as much detention as my daughter and “S”. I already yelled at him when he told me that he was punishing the other girl. He stated that he felt they were all in the wrong. He must be one of those men that believe that when a woman is beat she deserves it.
He of course would not tell me what punishment the other kids got. It was probably better for him that I did not find out the punishments or what he said to my daughter until after I talked to him. I did however warn him that if something happens again with this girl I will be filing a police report and he can then answer to why he did not handle it properly.
Okay, I feel a little bit better now. I am a very nice person but as you can see I am not so nice when you mess with my kids.
My kid’s school is like this too and I really know how you feel, it make’s you just want to rip your kid’s right on out of that school. My kid’s school is constantly kicking my 5 year old boy old just because he is hyper and hard to handle on some day’s, which they have had it out for him since the very first day I told him that he was tested positive on Add/Adhd and ODD. I totally agree with you.
Everybody has a boss. Go to the district, then the board. I dealt with crappy schools with to much money for admin and not enough for classrooms. Our school HAD to have an addition. The addition was 2/3 office and lounge and 1/3 auditorium. Hmmmm. Then they tell the kids that they can’t afford to give them each a book. The answer, take this candy sales form to your parents to take to work. Phooey. I am so glad that both of mine are grown and I don’t have to deal with that moronic logic.
Double detention for the original victim? What kind of logic justifies that? Disgusting.
I’m with everyone who’s said to report him; if he’s going to do his job this way, make sure his superiors know about it. And if the first rank don’t listen, go above them. The higher up this goes before being resolved, the harder it’s going to fall on him.
You definitely want to follow the proper complaint steps if you want anything done once you get to the top of the chain. You must first express your complaint or problem to the principal (which you have done), since you are not happy with his explanation and don’t feel that anything is solved, then you go to the superintendent. If he’s like the one I’ve had to deal with, he won’t do anything, but report back to the principal about your complaint. So, you give him about a day to get back to you. When you don’t hear from him, then you write a letter or make a phone call to every single member of the school board. Make sure you tell them that you’ve expressed your concerns to both the principal and the superintendent and nothing has changed or phone calls were not returned. Whatever. To take it a step further, try to rally a group of parents to do the same thing. One parent may not make a difference, but if the school board starts receiving letters and phone calls from 10-20 parents or more, then the light bulb may finally click on and they may realize that they do have a real problem on their hands. Also, at the same time, consider writing a letter to the editor of your local newspaper. Nothing gets the word out like mass media!! I’m sorry that you’ve, and all these other parents, have had problems like these. My children are not even school age, and I am a former public school teacher, and we have already decided that they will not attend public school. The oldest is already enrolled in private preschool for 2010. It’s sad that you really pay for the public schools, but you don’t feel secure enough to send your children there.